It never rains in southern California...
No, no it doesn't. It also never stops shaking.
A lot's happened since last we jawed. Let's see... the Tin Man got himself a respectable job, not a deep fryer in sight; the pad's coming along nicely, thanks in no small part to the tastefully hidden Elisha Cuthbert poster; and celebrity sightings are in the double digits.
The latest one? It happened today, actually. That hobbit of hobbits, Elijah the Woodster, at the light at Venice and National. One minute I'm changing CDs and the next minute Frodo's in my rearview. He drives a Mini Cooper, which we all expected, really.
And I couldn't call myself an Angelino without being an extra in something, so I took care of that this weekend by standing eight hours in the hot, hot, damn hot sun on the steps of City Hall. The upside? I got to meet Edward James Olmos. The downside? I pretty much no longer have a face.
But just wait til agents and casting directors see me in this thing - the phone's gonna ring off the hook! I gave the camera everything I had! All my unquenched passion, all my dark intensity, every ounce of my is-he-or-isn't-he sensitivity. I showed them who the Tin Man really is, a bare-all look into the deep throes of my psyche. Check me out:
I'm the Hispanic guy in the middle there.Yeah, baby. A star is born.
I was unpaid, of course, which I was semi-bummed about until I met some of the "paid" extras and immediately decided that their kind should be exterminated. Every last damn one of them.
Here's a snippet of what I overheard between two "professional" extras, as these organisms like to be called:
Worthless Being #1: "Yeah, I did Pirates. They wanted me to come back for 2, but I don't know, I think it's gonna suck, don't know if I want to be a part of that."
Worthless Being #2: "Oh, I know. I'm still kicking myself for doing War of the Worlds, I hate that my name's attached to that."
Worthless Being #1: "But Johnny [Depp] was cool, it'd be nice to hang with him again. Yeah, we hung."
Worthless Being #2: "Yeah, Tom [Cruise] was pretty cool too, you know, before he went all apeshit."
Worthless Being #1: "Yeah."
Worthless Being #2: "Yeah. You gonna eat that corndog?"
I searched for a blunt object to no avail, then considered using my own head to knock them unconscious, but by then the nausea had passed. Needless to say I took a couple of showers when I got home.
What kind of life can that be, when your purpose is to blend into the background? Have we checked if these people are actually vampires of some sort? Can someone get on that? I'd sleep better.
And I met Luis Guzman's stand-in, who, to my surprise, was actually not Luis Guzman. I thought LG could use the extra bills, but I guess he's doing alright.
If you're Luis Guzman: Thank you, man. You're an inspiration to Hispanics everywhere. Que viva la raza!
If you're everyone else: How the hell did Luis Guzman happen?
Alrighty, bedtime for this Hollywood wannabe. Until next time, which may or may not be around Christmas,
-TM
A lot's happened since last we jawed. Let's see... the Tin Man got himself a respectable job, not a deep fryer in sight; the pad's coming along nicely, thanks in no small part to the tastefully hidden Elisha Cuthbert poster; and celebrity sightings are in the double digits.
The latest one? It happened today, actually. That hobbit of hobbits, Elijah the Woodster, at the light at Venice and National. One minute I'm changing CDs and the next minute Frodo's in my rearview. He drives a Mini Cooper, which we all expected, really.
And I couldn't call myself an Angelino without being an extra in something, so I took care of that this weekend by standing eight hours in the hot, hot, damn hot sun on the steps of City Hall. The upside? I got to meet Edward James Olmos. The downside? I pretty much no longer have a face.
But just wait til agents and casting directors see me in this thing - the phone's gonna ring off the hook! I gave the camera everything I had! All my unquenched passion, all my dark intensity, every ounce of my is-he-or-isn't-he sensitivity. I showed them who the Tin Man really is, a bare-all look into the deep throes of my psyche. Check me out:
I'm the Hispanic guy in the middle there.Yeah, baby. A star is born.I was unpaid, of course, which I was semi-bummed about until I met some of the "paid" extras and immediately decided that their kind should be exterminated. Every last damn one of them.
Here's a snippet of what I overheard between two "professional" extras, as these organisms like to be called:
Worthless Being #1: "Yeah, I did Pirates. They wanted me to come back for 2, but I don't know, I think it's gonna suck, don't know if I want to be a part of that."
Worthless Being #2: "Oh, I know. I'm still kicking myself for doing War of the Worlds, I hate that my name's attached to that."
Worthless Being #1: "But Johnny [Depp] was cool, it'd be nice to hang with him again. Yeah, we hung."
Worthless Being #2: "Yeah, Tom [Cruise] was pretty cool too, you know, before he went all apeshit."
Worthless Being #1: "Yeah."
Worthless Being #2: "Yeah. You gonna eat that corndog?"
I searched for a blunt object to no avail, then considered using my own head to knock them unconscious, but by then the nausea had passed. Needless to say I took a couple of showers when I got home.
What kind of life can that be, when your purpose is to blend into the background? Have we checked if these people are actually vampires of some sort? Can someone get on that? I'd sleep better.
And I met Luis Guzman's stand-in, who, to my surprise, was actually not Luis Guzman. I thought LG could use the extra bills, but I guess he's doing alright.
If you're Luis Guzman: Thank you, man. You're an inspiration to Hispanics everywhere. Que viva la raza!
If you're everyone else: How the hell did Luis Guzman happen?
Alrighty, bedtime for this Hollywood wannabe. Until next time, which may or may not be around Christmas,
-TM
posted by The Tin Man | 8/03/2005
2 Comments:
So explain how you "met Edward James Olmos". Does that mean that the person walked in your vicinity. Does it mean that you shared a brief, if glorious, moment where your eyes locked? Does he, god forebid, know your name?
If you did talk to Edward and Luis, did you lay on the accent?
HAHAHAHAHA, Ive seen you play Romeo, but it doesnt hold a candle to you work in that City Hall photo. What movie is that for? Can I get a pre release of the DVD so I can pause that scened on my tv, and have you on there as my screen saver?
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