Unhealthy obsession

So I was one of the seven people in the US who tuned into the News Hour last night to see Jim "My Boy" Lehrer stick it to Dick "Head" Cheney. And I was one of the two people who re-read the transcript this morning - the other being Maureen "MILF" Dowd, trolling for fun phrases to double-entendre. God, she's hot.

But I digress.

The interview was about five minutes long, I'd say. And what struck me most, besides the reminder that I hate Cheney like Ian hates Dook (http://www.xtcian.com/), was his frequent use of a certain word. Let's see if you can spot it:

"I've been involved off and on for more than 30 years in various aspects of the government's intelligence business as a consumer..."

"I don't want to get into the business of passing judgement..."

"And when you start to get into the business of slapping taxes back on, we think that will simply slow down the economy..."

"The education reform the president put in place, No Child Left Behind, is a huge change in the way we do business in this country with respect to education..."

One of these words is not evil like the others... catch it? That's right, this bastard's obsessed with business, and that's not good for you and me, 'cause he's not running a 7-11. He's running the NATION. (If you ask me, he's getting a little help, though I wouldn't say that to his fat face.)

I know I'm not beating anyone to the "Cheney eats money" story, but I realized last night that maybe the guy can't help it. Maybe his daddy beat him with a belt with a business buckle. Or maybe business was the name of the first chick Dick dicked. My point is, maybe it's a pathological thing, something so subconsciously engrained not even he realizes he's repeating it once a minute.

Maybe he needs help. Like an intervention. And if we're gonna give it to him, we gotta give it to him yesterday, because it's not healthy for him, you, me or a couple billion other folks who like to be alive rather than dead, happy rather than sad, stuffed rather than starving.

Because while equality, civility and sympathy are three things we strive for, they're also three things that almost never turn a profit.

- TM

P.S. Apologies for the post starting off ha-ha and ending up boo-hoo - you know who to blame. tm